Where chapter 4 primarily focused on how Timothy was to go about his responsibilities as a pastor, chapter 5 mixes in how he can help other folks in his community act appropriately within their church family. The opening sentence sets the tone, guiding Timothy in how to go about leading those around him, encouraging him to do so in the same way he would with his own father, mother, brother and sister. The two distinctions to note are that 1.) Timothy is certainly called to approach all these people in rebuke where it is necessary (he substitutes “encouragement” for “rebuke” further in the description and 2.) he’s to do so in all purity.
This advice isn’t limited to pastors. In the course of a life following Jesus you’ll notice that age barriers start to disintegrate and with growing ease you recognize the common walk you share. In this, you’ll find yourself in a position to provide encouragement to folks 20-30 years your senior and junior. Where you’re the right person, you treat them like family (which means you do what you have to do and you do it out of love. You also keep your personal stuff out of it, you’re on the Lord’s work and the goal is reconciliation to the Lord, not vindication for you.)
Next up, widows. This we can fairly summarize in fairly rational ways. Where folks are truly widows (by age and situation) the church needs to care for them. Where they have family that can care for them or are of an age where they can still care for themselves and/or get remarried, they should do that and the church should not support them. Before reacting too harshly, remember Paul’s letters to the Thessalonians, idle hands are something Paul consistently identifies as a risk for people and the church. Here, he’s just specifically applied it to younger, widowed women. Basically, if they don’t need it, they shouldn’t take it.
All this, though, highlights Paul’s instructions about family responsibilities. Specifically, the direct condemnation of “…anyone (who) does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This is hard to swallow if we come from a perspective that has wrongly separated belief and the changed reality and work that implicitly follows. However, where we couple those things correctly, this makes a ton of sense. If I love my family I will care for them, serve them. If I say I love them but do not care for or serve them, then something isn’t right in there. Basically, the kerfuffle on this verse is unnecessary. Are you trying to dodge caring for your family? Are you trying to find a hole in the call to be a servant of all? If not, this is a big nothing-burger. If so, you’re not posturing to follow Christ and have bigger problems (like, worse than an unbeliever because you know the difference and refuse to submit to it.)
Moving on, where the pastor is doing the work well in what he is called to do, he deserves honor for that and deserves the benefit of the doubt when folks accuse him of something. (Don’t think there’s a hush-hush action here, the next part says the pastor doesn’t get the one on one rebuke from Matthew 18, he gets in front of all the overseers and the rest of the church if he needs a rebuke. Rough times.) However, when a fella keeps to God’s word and is in the rebuking business, someone is going to take it poorly and try to retaliate. So, have the man’s back and take care of him. Unless he sucks, then rebuke him and know the court of heaven stands ready to affirm such a rebuke.
Back to Timothy directly. Stay impartial because, again, it’s the Lord’s work you’re after. Lay hands on folks like mad fire and, oddly coupled with that, don’t take part in the sins of others. And, you know, still kind of off the wall, go ahead and have a little wine with your belly troubles, Timmy, water ain’t cutting it.
The laying of hands thing could be prayer and calls for healing but the connotation here is probably in identifying leaders and ordaining them for work. This makes the last part of this chapter make more sense as it is advises Timothy to be careful as both sin and good works can reveal themselves on the sly. Be patient, evaluate for both in due time.